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Chapter 37 of 64
东坡易传
Hexagram Statement: "The Family": It is favorable for the woman to maintain constancy and correctness. The way of the family benefits from the woman upholding what is proper and steadfast.
The Commentary on the Judgment: In "The Family," the woman's correct position is within. Within the family, the woman's proper role lies in managing domestic affairs.
This refers to the second line (Six in the second place).
The man's correct position is without. The man's proper role lies in handling external affairs.
This refers to the fifth line (Nine in the fifth place).
When man and woman each abide by their proper positions, this constitutes the fundamental great principle of heaven and earth. The family has its dignified sovereign — that is, the father and mother. When the father fulfills the way of the father, the son fulfills the way of the son, the elder brother fulfills the way of the elder brother, the younger brother fulfills the way of the younger brother, the husband fulfills the way of the husband, and the wife fulfills the way of the wife, then family order is rectified; once the family is rectified, the world is at peace.
The Commentary on the Symbol: Wind comes forth from fire: "The Family." The superior man, in accordance with this, speaks with substance and acts with constancy. Wind is born from fire — this is the image of the "Family" hexagram. The superior man thus comprehends: words must have substantive content, and actions must be carried through with persistence.
Fire blazes vigorously because it relies on the wind's fanning; after fire burns strongly, wind is in turn born from it. The family becomes rectified by relying on self-cultivation; after the family is rectified, one's own virtue is in turn manifested and integrated through it.
Nine at the beginning: Establish preventive discipline at the founding of the family; regret will disappear. Set up rules of precaution when the family is first established, and no regret will arise.
Commentary on the Symbol: "Establish preventive discipline at the founding of the family" — this means constraint is applied before the will has changed.
The way of governing a family: if too lax, it harms ritual propriety; if too strict, it harms affection. Is there then no middle course? The answer is: "The superior man speaks with substance and acts with constancy." These are truly words of ultimate wisdom! When words have substance and actions have constancy, even if the household contains a fierce wife or violent children, no one dares not to show solemn respect — and at the same time, affection is never discarded. This is the pinnacle of family governance. Zengzi said: "What the superior man values in the Way are three things: By maintaining a dignified demeanor, one moves far from rudeness and violence; by rectifying one's countenance, one draws near to sincerity; by attending to one's tone of speech, one moves far from vulgarity and perversity." If one can achieve this, what need is there for preventive measures? The first line at the beginning of the hexagram employs vigorous force at the founding of the family, and the third line employs vigorous force after the family governance has taken shape — thus both invite regret. The reason "prevention" is needed is precisely because virtue is insufficient. When virtue is insufficient, and one also forgets prevention, the will changes. By guarding against this before the will changes, "regret disappears."
Six in the second place: No independent decisions are made; focus wholly on preparing provisions within. Constancy brings good fortune. Having no matters of one's own initiative, one devotes herself entirely to the household's food and drink; maintaining constancy and correctness brings good fortune.
Commentary on the Symbol: The good fortune of the second line comes from gentleness and modesty. The good fortune of Six in the second place arises from being yielding and compliant.
To have responsibility for preparing food without having authority over independent decisions — this is the proper way for a woman.
Nine in the third place: The family members are harshly disciplined — regret and danger, yet good fortune. If wife and children laugh and play without restraint, there will ultimately be regret. Governing the family too strictly, family members sigh in distress — though there is regret and peril, ultimately it is auspicious. But if wife and children giggle in wanton abandon, in the end there will be cause for regret.
Commentary on the Symbol: "Family members harshly disciplined" — the family rules have not yet been lost. "Wife and children laughing without restraint" — the family has lost its proper measure. "Family members are harshly disciplined" indicates that household standards have not been abandoned. "Wife and children laugh without restraint" indicates that the family has lost its sense of proportion.
A yang line in a yang position — excessively vigorous — thus there is regret and danger. When others see his悔 regret and peril, they use leniency to correct him, and the family way collapses as a result. Therefore, the text tells people: the strict one ultimately achieves good fortune; and it warns people: the consequences of losing restraint are ultimately regrettable.
Six in the fourth place: Enrich the family — great good fortune. Make the family prosperous and abundant—greatly auspicious.
Commentary on the Symbol: "Enriching the family, great good fortune" — because of gentleness in the correct position. "Making the family prosperous and abundant with great good fortune" is because one is yielding and occupies the proper position.
The "Family" hexagram has four yang lines and two yin lines, and the yin lines do not lose their proper positions, obediently following the command of the yang lines. The yang lines govern household affairs; the yin lines comply and cooperate. It would be impossible for the family not to be well-governed. Enrichment is the culmination of good governance; thus the second line's "constancy brings good fortune" speaks of the way of governance, while the fourth line's "enrich the family" speaks of the culmination of governance. Achieving enrichment by reaching the culmination of governance ensures that such wealth endures — this is what is meant by "great good fortune."
Nine in the fifth place: The king arrives at his family — do not worry, good fortune. The king, taking the world as his family, personally attends to it; no need for anxiety — auspicious.
Commentary on the Symbol: "The king arrives at his family" — there is mutual love among all. "The king arrives at his family" speaks of people loving one another mutually.
"Arrive" means "to reach." When a king reaches this point of having a family, that family becomes great. The king treats the world as one family. In an ordinary person's household, close relatives are near at hand and thus prone to mutual negligence; the world is vast, and people are distant from one another and thus prone to mutual forgetfulness. Knowing that the misfortune lies in closeness breeding disrespect, one esteems solemnity and maintains appropriate distance, preserving an attitude of mutual respect beyond familiar disregard; knowing that the misfortune lies in distance breeding forgetfulness, one employs simplicity and the instruction "do not worry," to facilitate mutual affection between people. Among the four yang lines in the "Family" hexagram, only the fifth line possesses the virtue of a ruler of men; therefore, it celebrates virtue and discusses the family of all under heaven. Sovereigns and ministers should be as close as father and son; fathers and sons should be as dignified as sovereign and minister — this is the profound intent of the sages.
Top line: With sincerity, and with dignity — ultimate good fortune. Possessing trustworthiness and maintaining a dignified bearing — ultimately auspicious.
Commentary on the Symbol: The good fortune of "dignity" refers to turning back to oneself. The auspiciousness of "majestic bearing" refers to self-reflection.
What the top line trusts is the third line. Among the lines of the Family hexagram, the only pair without a proper corresponding relationship are the third and top lines. All other lines are paired with counterparts of complementary natures, yin and yang responding to each other; only these two are adjacent yang lines that confront each other, and thus they never forget reverence throughout their lives. Reverence is like fearing illness — this is a superior quality among people. Thus those who revere others are themselves revered; those who slight others are themselves slighted — this is what is meant by "turning back upon oneself." Whenever something is said to result "ultimately," its beginning may not have been so. "Wife and children laughing without restraint" — pleasant at the start; "the good fortune of dignity" — arduous at the beginning.
The central thought of the Family Hexagram lies in the rectification of order and roles.
From "men's and women's proper positions" to "role fit"
The traditional division expressed as "women's proper position is within, men's proper position is without" need not be mechanically adopted in modern society. But its underlying logic — each family member fulfills their responsibilities, with clear roles and clear boundaries — remains entirely valid. In contemporary families, who manages the home and who handles external matters depends on both partners' abilities, preferences, and mutual consultation, not on gender. The crucial point is not "who does what" but whether what is done is "seen and respected." 🔥 Against the backdrop of large numbers of professional women entering the public sphere, this hexagram's revelation to us is: the family as a system needs someone to tend to its "internal ecosystem" (emotional connection, daily operations, children's education) and someone to connect with "external resources" (economic support, social networks); neither can be dispensed with.
Family governance through "speaking with substance and acting with constancy"
This is an extremely contemporary insight: family authority is not built by shouting but accumulated through consistency and trustworthiness. Many family conflicts arise from inconsistency between parents' words and deeds — telling children "less phone time" while being glued to screens themselves; demanding honesty from children while making careless excuses themselves. Su Dongpo, channeling Zengzi, makes the point clear: with solemn bearing, rectified countenance, and proper speech, one naturally earns the respect of family members without needing deliberate "prevention" or "constraint."
Beware the trap of "permissiveness"
The warning of the third line is remarkably powerful for our time: seeing the conflicts caused by strict parenting, many parents veer entirely toward laissez-faire "happy education," with the result being "wife and children giggling without restraint, ultimately regretful" — losing basic rules and boundaries, and paying the price in the end. Strictness brings short-term friction and regret but is ultimately auspicious; permissiveness maintains surface harmony but ends in regret. This is not an argument for corporal punishment or high-pressure control, but rather emphasizes that the certainty of rules matters more than their harshness or leniency.
The ontological significance of "wind from fire"
The imagery statement of the Family hexagram, "wind comes forth from fire," is a profound metaphor: fire (the Li trigram, representing inner emotion, light, and warmth) gives birth to wind (the Xun trigram, representing external influence, cultivation, and propagation). The positive energy of the family originates from inner warmth — love, trust, shared memories; when this inner warmth reaches a certain intensity, it naturally radiates external influence. Conversely, if the inner fire goes out, attempting to create outer harmony is like drawing water without a source. 🌬️🔥
The ethical structure of "turning back upon oneself"
The top line's phrase "refers to turning back upon oneself" reveals a deep structure of reciprocal ethics: how you treat others is how others treat you — this is not merely the simple expression of karma but more fundamentally a relational ontology: in intimate relationships like the family, the way others treat you is essentially a mirror of your own attitude toward yourself. "Those who revere others are revered; those who slight others are slighted" is not simple tit-for-tat exchange but rather says: your very way of being shapes the relational field around you. Reverence is not a means but a state of being; dignity is not performance but the natural externalization of inner integrity.
The transcendence of "arriving"
The character "假" in "王假有家" (the king arrives at his family) is interpreted as "to arrive" (至), implicitly containing a path of transcendence from the limited family to infinite care. The ordinary person's family is finite and concrete; but "the king treats the world as his family" — expanding familial ethics into universal ethics. This suggests to us: mature love does not confine itself to the small family but uses the family as its starting point to develop emotional capacity for the wider world. Confucius's "extend respect for the aged to embrace all who are aged; extend love for the young to embrace all who are young" is consistent with the spirit of this line.
| Concept | Connection |
|---|---|
| Inner trigram Li/Fire | Represents inner light, emotion, and warmth — the source of family cohesion 🌱 |
| Outer trigram Xun/Wind | Represents external influence and gradual cultivation — the direction of family atmosphere's diffusion 🌬 |
| Proper response of lines two and five | Six in the second (yin in yin position) and Nine in the fifth (yang in yang position) each occupy their proper stations—the image of "man and woman in correct positions" |
| Cultivate-Regulate-Govern-Pacify | The sequence of self-cultivation, family regulation, state governance, and world peace from The Great Learning; this hexagram is the core text for the "regulating the family" stage |
| 闲 (Xián) | Original meaning: the horizontal bar across a gate; extended meaning: prevention, restriction, standard |